4th oct. swim deep/ wolfalice/ temples. not a serious review.

so the sold out swim deep show was a hit, a great hit, a big fat groovy great hit on the head. it seemed the place to be on thursday night was in bethnal green. after 2 cancelled trains, a 4 hour coach journey, 3 tubes and a 15min walk to a taxi rank, i finally showed my face in the dark at 8:30pm. after a brief socialise over wine and straights, i was soon found out this was more like a one direction gig- with built men standing out front selling sold out tickets. fake tickets. after a swift chat with wolfalice, and a dance to splashh' DJ set and temples, it was soon swim deeps turn to make all the ass and titties shake. i was on my 4th glass of large red wine, i found myself standing on the merch table grinding to honey, in hope i could sell a few t shirts by proving how fun it is to be me. good show, ended all with higgys guitar and cavs bass exploding pinatas and austin setting of a fire extinguisher all over zachs hair. all in all it was great, there was more wine down me than in me.

PRIX TAPE (i like guys that sound like girls)

pink is for girlz. prix tape- zachary robinson.   

TOPS - Diamond Look. 'He just wants you for your pretty eyes ' I was immediately sprung buy these lyrics, i started listening to this band about a month ago, the song magically and unknowingly feeds you with love for them and generously gives you all their energy to dance along. it's very rare i latch onto new music,  and i'm not the type to go and buy an album, so it was a swallow of joy when i saw you could buy the album digitally. This is just weird for me, but it managed to arouse me, and now i cant leave it alone, the girl singer is a  BABE, which is always a bonus.

TOPS - VII babies.  Ohio players, love rollercoaster is the first thing that springs to mind. It's truly incredible. The atmospheric aspect of the song is so simple but at the same time so detailed. Nothing is made shit by drowning it in reverb, whereas its aimed to not sound shit recording in their bedroom. They do it properly, She knows exactly what she's doing. The madonna influence is one of the main reasons i got into this band. I don't think im going to have the chance to see this band live any time soon, this sucks but a great thing about this band is that from listening to there music i can tell they would be one of the best new live bands i've heard for a long time, they will bring an aspect of beauty to their performance with female vocals targeting to make their sound almost innocent yet still messy. In this track the band use lots of samples, samples that sound like nature noises. Nature is nature. Nature is fantastic. 

Talking Heads - This must be the place. Party Party Party, This is 100% my party song. its the song i choose over any other song in the world when i get asked to play a song at a party.  My best friends also leap straight to the top of my head whenever this song is played. Its that song that just reminds you of great times. Everyone has that one song they just love this is that song for me. I cant even begin to describe why i love this song so much, but i love it that way so here's to the Talking Heads.

Funkadelic - Super Stupid.  Ultimate all time song only 10x catchier. This is a song for me that i just listen to and appreciate so much and imagine how much fun these guys had writing this song. It almost makes me feel as though i knew these people and i knew exactly what they where doing when they wrote this song. They jammed, structured, high fived, then got high. The image that this song puts in my head makes it so much fun for me to listen to, i just smile and laugh when i hear it. A side from this song making me want a hit of the biggest bong ever, the musicality that goes on through out the song is genius. Oh and maggot brain is the best name for an album ever.

Michael Jackson - The way you make me feel.  One of my top 5 videos. 6ft, luscious brown curly hair. Skin tight black dress. This women is ridiculously hot. This women is the one every guy wants. every guy to have ever seen this women wants to fuck her.  Michael is genius, he does in this video something every guy in the world wishes they could do. He seduces this girl like i've never seen a girl being seduced before, yet he doesn't even speak to her. Ok, he shouts really loud to get her attention but what happens after this is unreal, the first opening lyric and dance routine blows my mind every time i hear/watch this song, even the drum fill and the sound of the drums, everything is perfect, and you cant help but try and dance like michael jackson in this song. 

Len - steal my sunshine. The loop, Everyone from the age of 13 to the age of 99 knows what this song is, as soon as they hear that loop at the start of this song. This song is everything i love, Groovy loops, California, Hot dogs, Stoner guys, HUV'S, candy floss , beaches and babes. This is just the ultimate pop song in the world. If you don't like this song then your a fucking stoke and thats all there is too it, the songs called 'steal my sunshine' whats better than that?. Other than the song being absolutely HUGE, the video is everything you want to see if you just listen to the song without viewing the video. Its fun, energetic,funny and all round just ACE! 

The B-52'S - Private idaho. Groovy, Funky, sexy, everything you want in a song if your a guy, especially when you see the babes shacking there ass and wiggling there hips in there live shows. Fred Schneider is one of my favourite front men to watch, his energy, his dancing and his vocals are just so original and ace. I don't know another guy out there that has the sort of confidence and stage presence that fred does ( apart from robert plant ) but thats a different story. Its such a treat when you search b-52's live shows on youtube. I think its such a hard task for girl backing vocalists to look cool and hot when just standing in one spot singing, but katie person does this and does it better than any babe i've ever watched, Everything the B-52's do is just a pleasure to watch and listen to. 

MGMT - Electric feel. I think these guys made absolutely EVERYTHING cool EVERYTHING. I think they even made being in a band cool. They certainly made me think being in a band was cool. And the fact these guys are still influencing mainstream pop music 5-6 years after there first album came out is unbelievable. Electric feel is one of the warmest song i've listened too. It just grabs you and doesn't let go for a whole 4 minutes. You may agree you may disagree, i don't care, but i think MGMT are one of THE best bands ever. For two guys to have so much confidence in knowing something would work when its 100% original is truly great. Here's to the guys.

Jack White - Freedom at 21. Legend. absolute legend. This guy is a genius. When it comes to writing a song, there's nothing i haven't heard/seen this guy do. I think the only way that describes this song and Jack white's album, and even Jack white in general is that he's 100% a musical god.  I think this guy has everything a 'musical god' would have if they existed. I think i chose 'freedom at 21' over any of his other tracks is because its one of the songs he plays with his all girl band. Yes, he has songs with guys, and songs with girls. Girl bands rule, well this girl band rule, mainly because its fronted by Jack white. The sloppiness yet clean crunchy guitar at the start of this song gets you hooked on it from go! And the psychedelic instrumental that starts around 1:43 in this song throws you around, spins you upside down and spits you out once there done freaking out. Then back into the main hook. 

Warsaw - Warsaw. I received a rare cd for one of my birthdays off a friend. It was the Warsaw album from Warsaw. I'd heard this track before from off the Joy Division album, but i'd never heard it like this. I didn't expect it to be any different at all, but when i put the CD on for the first time i was amazed. The tracks that were on this original Warsaw album sounded 100 times bigger,heavier and had more of an impact. The songs where SO gritty and rough, almost sounded like they had recorded the tracks them selves, no mixing no mastering just straight from the studio. The bass shook my speakers and the snare cut through every instrument amazingly. In some of the Joy Division songs i'm sometimes screaming out for them to be less produced and polished, i never find myself listening to there albums as much as i search there live shows on the web. I think overall the more polished, produced sound worked better for the band, but i'm so thankful to hear the tracks untouched from the studio.

50 shades of suck my tits El James

Never would I let myself spend over 10£ on a book that has stopped teenage girls have one night stands, but instead fucking themselves under their bed sheets while gripping onto the "best-seller erotic novel" that is 50 shades of Grey. Why has this book made so many girls depressed because they don't have a dominant man licking their arousal every minute apart from meal times, where oh god, they must eat (not pussy) food. I went shopping in a hoody and sunglasses, so no one saw me pick up the dreaded 50 shades of fucked up with a huge 3£ sticker over the wording Grey. 50 shades of 3£??? Sounds HOT!

After three weeks of reading, I finally came to the end, and half expected there to be a secret compartment of the book that would tell me the actual legitimate ending. This was a bullshit ending, and I wanted to email El James and tell her what a great fucking fool she was. The shock of finding out what this sex ridden "goddess" looked like made me spit out my dinner and thank the lord I was me. The theory of "you're all mouth" has never been so spot on.

I can imagine what the follow on books are. And never ever will I give into curiosity and lower myself to depth of popular erotic novels again. Lesson well learnt.

never underestimate the power of the pussy

so i'm out monday night after being bed bound for a few days, throwing up after everything inc. brushing my teeth. i went round alices for some sane company and what was planned as a relaxed night, turned into a smoke ridden room spending hours on the internet looking through 489 pages of the anatomy of a vagina; or as we preferred "that pussy is so powerful".

"it's so fucking huge, did you know it retracts, it's 3 inches deep and arousal lengthens it up to 7 inches"

don't be fooled by us, we're an average pair of best friends- but we didn't end up watching a film with jelly, but indulged in sienna millers sex scenes while catching smoke in our eye, and questioned go ask alice everything from female masturbation, erotica pornography to "can i catch any diseases from kissing" and the all time feeder favourite- festishes. cheers and kisses for the terrible two.